


godforsaken mess

by ranab0ts



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, and grell wants to punch him, date night!, honestly who doesn't want to punch william, in which william struggles with his own emotions, ronald is their romantic advisor, they make a bet and grell wins because she deserves it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28720713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranab0ts/pseuds/ranab0ts
Summary: when william and grell can't seem to get along for a night of fieldwork, ronald suggests they make a bet to set aside their differences. winner decides what to do for a night, loser complies. it doesn't go as he was expecting though.
Relationships: William T. Spears/Grell Sutcliff
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. the bet

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello, i don't usually indulge in kuroshitsuji but grelliam hits different and i think they deserve good things so i wanted to write for them. sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language, i tried to fix anything that seemed wrong! also i don't think this needs to be clarified but i use she/her pronouns for grell because she's canonically trans, a lot of people here seem to forget that :(

The narrow and dark streets of London would have been completely quiet and deserted, as usual, if it weren’t for that loud laughter that echoed throughout every single inch of the foggy city. 

Loud, and obnoxious. 

Who could blame her, really? She was happy, and she could barely contain herself. 

It wasn’t very different from every other night anyways. The red reaper had made it a habit to run from roof to roof, cackling because she was excited, because she was bored, or because she simply found it entertaining to spark some fear into the hearts of unsuspecting citizens as she moved within the shadows. She considered it to be one of her original additions to her already overwhelming job, even if her co-workers didn’t agree with her. 

But tonight? Tonight she wasn’t just trying to bring attention to herself, no. Tonight she was genuinely happy. 

And she made sure that her feelings of bliss were made clear by screaming out the name that put her in such a blind state of euphoria and squeezing the strong arm she was holding onto with all the strength she could muster up. 

“Oh, Will! I knew it was meant to be! I’m so happy!” Grell cried out, laughing. “We’re going to have so much fun together, I promise you that!” 

This was a very special night for her. For William, not so much. Instead of leaping for joy like she was, he was standing still, internally cursing the moment he decided that following any one of Ronald’s plans would be a good idea.

Knox was just a scapegoat, however. He had ended up in this situation in the first place because of his own foolishness.

And yes, he had been foolish, but at that moment, it seemed like a sensible solution. 

“Grell Sutcliff! I once again ask for you to settle down and behave!” 

That Monday wasn’t the best for William. He was tense, which in it of itself wasn’t a rare sight, despite him always pretending like he was patient and composed. 

He had been assigned for guidance duty once more. He needed to help a subordinate get familiarized with a new area, help him through some of his collections if he got lost. He didn’t think it necessary, since the subordinate in question wasn’t a rookie by any means and he believed he could manage on his own, but he found it impossible to go against HQ’s orders, so he complied. 

He would normally take it with ease, do his job flawlessly. Show the subordinate the best routes, monitor their collections, and even give them a map of the area if he deemed it necessary, however, this time, he couldn’t even get started. 

Probably because of the unwanted guest joining them. 

Grell Sutcliff was also usually assigned guidance jobs, despite how often she got distracted and ditched her pupils to go do something else. Lately, the higher ups had been considering letting her stay in her lane, let her do what she did best, which was collecting and harvesting, but the fact that she was there at the moment meant that they didn’t think about it for too long. 

William stayed on that thought longer than necessary, and came to one conclusion. 

Someone at headquarters must have wanted her off their back and sent her on a guiding job last minute. Normally, he would’ve been informed if she was to come along, so it was the only reasonable explanation that he could come up with. 

He clicked his tongue. 

It didn’t really matter if she was at collections, or if she was due to do her paperwork, or if she was sent to help rookies find their way around their new job, she was as incompetent and unwilling to do her job as ever. Though things got a lot worse when she was sent to do fieldwork.

Every single time she was dispatched, she used every chance she got to do everything except what she was supposed to do, whether it was checking herself in a storefront, or sitting down and doing absolutely nothing, or gawking at the first mildly attractive man she spotted. In this particular instance, she was trying to run away to pay a visit to that filthy demon butler she always liked to run her mouth about. 

It was a common sight at this point, but he could never get used to it. Whenever they had to work together, he felt like he needed to brace himself with hours of anticipation. Watching her run around so carelessly, get caught up in her own bubble, so free of any worries, produced an unnecessary amount of feelings inside him, ever since he could remember, and he hated every second of it because he couldn’t even begin to explain why it happened or what they were, he just knew that they reminded him of a past that he chose to leave behind. So chose to call it anger, frustration, because in part, that’s what he felt when he realized that he was letting such an reckless reaper get into his head so easily.

Emotions were so utterly obsolete to William that he felt powerless when things like that happened. They clouded one’s ability to work properly, and they made you act irrational. He knew this better than anyone, and Grell, the most emotionally driven reaper there was, was the breathing example of it. 

“Superior Spears…?” A voice called out, causing him to snap out of his daze. 

He had begun to space out thinking about her again. Great. 

He tried his best to regain his cold exterior by standing straight, fixing his tie and clearing his throat, hoping to god that the subordinate didn’t spot the brief moment of vulnerability he displayed the second he popped his bubble. 

When he glanced at the man next to him, however, he spotted him grinning in amusement at the state he found him in, so he shot him one of his glares which successfully turned his smile into a nervous one. 

“Forgive me, superior Spears. I was just a tad worried because you seemed really out of it and we… kind of… haven’t gotten anything done, y’know? Is everything okay?” He asked, running his fingers through his golden locks and furrowing a brow. 

In contrast, William raised one of his own at how sudden his question appeared to be, which only managed to irritate him even more. “That is none of your concern right now, Mr. Knox.” He sighed, using his scythe to put his glasses in place. “While it was thoughtful of you to have warned me about time, instead of standing there watching me while I was busy planning out a route, mind you, you should’ve gone to Sutcliff to at least get something done in the meantime.” He sighed, finally eyeing their guest in question, who was now sitting at the edge of the rooftop they were standing on, legs crossed and head pulled back as her long red locks carefully ran down her back and pooled all around her slender figure.

She seemed to be staring at the night sky ever so nonchalantly. While it was a miracle that she managed to stay still in one place, it was probably because she had given up trying to flee for the time being and was just stalling until she saw her next chance.

And apparently, she had heard William complain, because a small whine left her lips and out of the corner of his eye he could see her turn around and give him a pout. “Will, that’s so mean and inconsiderate... “ Grell began. “Why am I always to blame for everything? I’ve been sitting here ready for duty for a while now, you were the one spacing out!” 

William clenched his fist around his pruner. Was she mocking him? 

“Not even five minutes ago Knox and I had to hold you back so you wouldn’t parade over to that unholy manor you like visiting so much for heaven knows what reason, and prior to that, while I was going over Knox’s schedule, you were just parading around the streets as if nothing. So no, Grell Sutcliff, you weren’t ready for duty.” 

Grell suddenly felt silent. At first, William thought that he had hit a nerve, which managed to startle him and make him lower his guard as he tried to read her expression, but when he least expected it, the woman jumped to her feet in a swift motion and rapidly sprinted towards him only to end up wrapping his entire frame with her arms in a warm but tight hug, which managed to kick the wind out of him upon landing. 

“Oh, Will!” She swooned, gloved hands freely roaming across the man’s back. “You’re worried about me, aren’t you? And don’t tell me… do I sense some jealousy in there somewhere?” The red reaper laughed, her voice taking on a playful tone. 

William let out a breathless grunt, his glasses were crooked from the impact and about to fall off his face, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment. He was frozen. His mind was blank. As if he genuinely didn’t know how to react. There it was, another one of those moments where he just let her into his head, as easy as that. And this was Grell out of all people, physical contact was made quite often when she was around, and his reaction was always the exact same; go completely stiff in his attempts to find a proper reaction. 

After a moment of silent embracing, which felt dreadful to him, he cleared his throat.

“S-Sutcliff, I gently ask you to refrain from physical contact and inappropriate behavior. Clearly, there is nothing to “be jealous about”, and it’s idiotic that it even crossed your mind in the first place. I am just asking you to take responsibility. What you do with demons in your free time, although highly against regulations and could land you a severe punishment, is none of my concern.” There was spite in his voice, which he failed to hide.

“Aw, how sweet of you, Will! Don’t you worry! You know I would always pick you over any other man in the world! Bassy and I haven’t done anything, although he’s often returned my advances so he’s probably holding back… but it’s fun to visit him, you know? A lady deserves to have fun every now and then.” She giggled. “And also, before that I was just checking myself in the storefronts. I have to make sure I don’t look all disheveled for my one and only!” 

Her last statement made William’s eyebrow twitch, but he tried to not let it get to him. 

“I… that is not the issue here, Sutcliff! It’s not an every now and then thing with you, the problem is that you’re always putting what you want to do before work, and we’re not here to have fun, we’re here to do our job! I’m just asking you to stop making up excuses and try to be sensible for once.”

“Aw, but it’s not that I’m not being sensible. You know how overwhelming this is for some of us! I’m just trying to lighten things up for myself, shake things up a notch! It’s harmless-”

“Some of us? Do you think this isn’t hard on all of us? Haven’t you thought about the possibility that when one reaper fails to do their job, it only increases the workload for everyone else?” 

She kept quiet for a moment. 

“I uh… well, yes, but I’m just trying to make you understand…” 

“For goodness’ sake, Sutcliff. It’s not that hard to try and not be careless sometimes. How can I make you understand that?” 

William’s voice fell quieter, and every word he said came out in his calm, but strict tone. Both of the subordinates accompanying him ended up staring at him in silence, the blonde one like he really didn’t want to be there, the red haired one biting her lip as if trying to think of what to say but failing to come up with something. 

The environment felt so heavy that Ronald felt like it was going to crush him at any moment, so for both of their sakes, and mostly his own, he decided to break the suffocating silence with words of his own. 

“I-I… I know it’s not my place to intervene but uh… it seems to me like you both want very different things and you’re… kind of getting nowhere with this back and forth…?” He said, almost too meekly as if trying not to overshadow the two powerful presences before him.

William shot him a glare. 

“We would’ve gotten things done by now if she would’ve been ready to work in the first place and she could just admit that she’s in the wrong here!” 

“Well, I’m just trying to make you understand where I’m coming from, it’s not that hard to listen to me for a change!” 

If Ronald didn’t want to leave before, he definitely wanted to now. He was in the presence of two of the most powerful personalities in the headquarters. Two personalities that individually brimmed with confidence and were fierce in their own way, but together, clashed against each other and left a mess of the two reapers involved. 

They either didn’t like the way he was butting in, or were completely ignoring his presence at this point, despite him being the one under their tutoring. If they kept going like this, he wouldn’t get any of his work done, and he would end up having to do overtime. He had already planned out a date with a pretty coworker from collections, he couldn’t allow this to ruin his schedule completely.

He bit his lip. 

“P-Please, listen! I uh… hm… this is difficult, but I think I could help!” 

“Help? Help how?” William sighed, skeptically. 

“I uh… you guys are here under guidance duty, but you do have some collections to do tonight as well, right?”

They stayed silent but they both nodded their heads, so he was running under the assumption that it was a yes.

“Okay! Well, um, what I was thinking was maybe… y’know… if you can’t reach an agreement now, then the next course of action would be to... make a bet!” 

Even more silence. 

“A bet?” The dark haired man asked first, clearly not pleased with the idea the subordinate had come up with, even if the conditions hadn’t been set yet. “Please, enlighten me, Knox. How will a bet help us here? There is no agreement to reach, Sutcliff is clearly being stubborn and she just has to admit it.” 

“Me? Being stubborn? I’m just trying to speak to you, Will! I’m not wrong for wanting to make work a dynamic thing for me. If anything, you’re being stubborn for not listening to me!” 

“Are you serious? I-”

“See! This is what I mean!” Ronald quickly interrupted. “You say there’s no agreement to reach, but if you don’t settle this down soon enough, we’re only going to take longer to get to each of our respective duties tonight, because you’ll end up arguing every chance you get. I’ve been there before. So if a stalemate is reached, I think the next best way to settle it is to make a bet!” He said, way too confidently. It was almost out of character for him to speak so efficiently. 

He didn’t show it often, but he was pretty smart and saw opportunities that played to his favor in every little aspect of life. That’s how he managed to be so charming in the first place. Or at least he liked to convince himself that he was. 

Grell, who had been ominously silent the whole time, stared at him with a proud smile on her lips, though there was also a hint of bewilderment in her expression. “Ronnie, you’re a genius…” 

“I know I am!” He chuckled, but a glare from William made him cower again. “I-I mean… how does that sound?”

“I’m in!” The woman giggled, clapping her hands together and quickly waltzing her way towards the blonde only to cup his cheeks between her hands and start squeezing. 

William only shook his head. “It does make sense, but you’re saying that our constant arguing will impede us from attending to our duties, how would making a bet be any better? That’s just wasting time knowingly.” 

Ronald nodded, or at least nodded in the best way he could while having his friend all over him and constricting his facial movements. “Well, I did think about that, but then it came to me! Instead of cards, or rock paper scissors, the bet in itself should be, for example uh… the one who manages to clear their soul collection schedule first is the winner!”

“But wouldn’t we be constricted by time? We can’t change the time in which people die…” Grell pouted.

“Oh… well, that’s easy, actually. There is a limited time frame in which we’re supposed to be working. It’s 4 right now, so in this case, you, Knox and I are due for the next two hours. During that time, we attend to our job as usual, however, if we do it efficiently and do not waste any time, one of us will be able to finish all their collections early, and then make it back here. This will be our meeting point. The one who gets here first is the winner.” William said seamlessly. 

The red reaper gasped. “Will! You’re even putting in your own two cents! You really want to do this, huh!” She laughed. 

He didn’t seem amused. 

Ronald chuckled along with her, now feeling a little more comfortable since the air had become a lot lighter, and hearing his superior’s laughter always lit up his mood.

“So? How are you going to settle this?” He asked, to which Grell immediately perked up.

“I know! The winner gets to choose what to do for a night! I think that would help us understand each other a little better!” 

“Fine. If I win, next time we’re on fieldwork duty together, you will do exactly as I say. No slacking off, no messing around, no running off to prance around with demons. You will be completely serious for a night.” William scoffed.

“I bet you would give anything to have me at your feet, wouldn’t you, Will?” Grell purred. 

“Sutcliff, your part. Now.” 

She frowned at first, but then her expression shifted to one of pure concentration, as if she was thinking her part of the bet through extremely hard. 

“Well… I would like you to loosen up and have some fun… and my idea of fun with a dreamy man such as you would be… a date! Will, you have to go out on a date with me if I win!” 

William was taken aback at first, but the moment he regained his composure, he seemed like he wasn’t amused in the slightest. “You’re just using this to your advantage now!”

“Will, aren’t you being a little inconsiderate? I think it will be really fun if you give it a chance, we can do whatever we want, dine at an expensive restaurant, slowdance under the moonlight…” The woman said, biting her lip. “And I don’t want to force you to do anything, so it would all be platonic… unless you decide otherwise~” 

“I think it’s fair.” Ronald shrugged.

“You keep it up and I will give you overtime.” The dark haired man hissed. “And there will not be any chances given, because I will win this bet. So you better expect some efficiency in the way you do things from now on.” He hummed, finally moving from his spot and picking up his pruner, which he had left on the floor when he had begun arguing with the redhead. 

Grell’s expression lit up once more and she let out an enthusiastic cackle before rushing over to her chainsaw and picking it up in one swift motion. She didn’t hesitate to quickly start the engine, allowing it to roar with all its might. Music to her ears. 

“You better do your best to catch up with me, Willy!” The red haired woman purred, shooting him a toothy smirk as she pulled out her notebook, where she kept her schedule, and eyed it. William wanted to reply with bitterness, but before he could even think of a comeback, she had disappeared before his very eyes, and all one could see was her vanishing figure jumping from rooftop to rooftop. 

He clicked his tongue, and for a while, he stood there, watching her as she rushed off. Then, he turned to look at Ronald, who flinched when their eyes met.

The younger reaper made sure to give him a thumbs-up. “Good luck, superior Spears! Miss Grell is a beast at fieldwork so you’re gonna need it!” He chuckled, which didn’t help his case at all. He looked like he really needed William to leave so he could breathe and start doing his own thing. 

“You better do a good job on your own collections while we’re gone, Knox.” He warned, and with that, he swiftly jumped across to the next building and left. 

Despite being so unnecessarily bold about it, Knox had a point. She was fast like any other, and her physical strength was admirable, even for someone with so little muscular mass in her body such as her. He was already at a disadvantage the second he decided to let his guard down and allow Sutcliff to have such a massive head start. 

It didn’t matter though. He trusted in his own ability in the fields, and besides he had something that Grell didn’t. Some self-control. Yes, she was extremely efficient when she put her mind to it, but he was sure that any minute now, she would get distracted, by anything really. Something would throw her off her game for a moment, and even if that moment only lasted seconds, it would be enough for him to catch up. He had known her long enough to know this.

Why he was so determined to win this stupid bet? Who knew. Something deep inside him knew that even if he won, Sutcliff would still manage to find a way to disobey his orders and she would get away with it, because despite getting continuously angry at her, lately all she needed to do was send some flirty remarks his way and he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to give her any kind of punishment. He still didn’t know what it was that she produced on him, but he sure as hell knew that he needed to win this bet not only to prove something, because his pride was important to him, but because the thought of going on a date, and on a date with her, would force him to face those feelings head on, and he just didn’t need that. 

He had started well enough, but every time he stopped to review the next poor soul in his schedule, he would find himself spacing out while the record played in front of his eyes. He paid enough attention to know their fate, but not enough to remember anything by the time he wrote down his judgement and collected the soul. She and her part of the bet just wouldn’t get out of his head, and the fact that he kept hearing her cackles in the distance weren’t helping him at all.

By the hour and a half mark, he was pretty confident that he would finish early and would be able to win flawlessly, despite the few… obstacles that he kept running into. However, his second mistake had been underestimating Grell’s determination the whole time. 

He finished collecting his last soul for the day and he sighed, relieved and honestly kind of proud. He was a little rusty when it came to collections, since he was used to just, stand back and watch his subordinates do it, but he managed to do everything quicker than expected. And this air of pride stayed with him, that is, until he began heading to their meeting point, and the first thing he spotted, even from his spot in the distance, was a bright red spot, accompanied by a yellow one by its side.  
It couldn’t be… not only her, but Knox as well had finished before him?

He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was his own fault, for letting stupid thoughts cloud his judgement. 

As he approached the pair, Ronald tried to hold back his laughter, but Grell stood up, loud and happy, the second he came into her sights. 

He was still bewildered as the woman came over to hold onto his arm and jump up and down in her excitement. How odd, she wasn’t boasting about her win? She usually let pride take over her whenever she had something to prove. 

“Knox, did you also…?” 

“Yes, sir! Finished a little after Miss Grell and came right over! I was as surprised as you are though, told you she was fiery, though.” He shrugged. 

“But… H… How did you two…”

“Oh, Will! It was honestly kind of easy. I mean, I gave it my all and did all my collections in time, finished them all as quickly as I could, and even had some spare time in between them to check on you, and every time I’d spot you, you were just… crouching there, staring at a blank space. You looked like there was something bothering you, but I’d even go as far as saying that maybe… possibly… you let me win?” She laughed, rubbing her face against his arm. “You wanted this as much as I did, Will! But if there was something bothering you, we can talk it over on our date!” 

William was at a loss of words, despite knowing full well that he had gotten distracted many times when he could have been saving time and doing what he was supposed to do.

He drew a blank. 

“I have so many things planned out! But I’m still not quite sure where we should go… then again, you’re the gentleman, so you’re supposed to choose the place… but I also thought up of a few places that are absolutely dreamy…” 

He didn’t like this. His mind was a rollercoaster. 

“But nevermind the details! I’m just so excited right now! Excited to death! It’ll be our first date!” 

Going on a date with her… that only meant that… 

That he would be forced to face those feelings that had been haunting him for so long… 

“Oh, Will! I knew it was meant to be! I’m so happy!” The woman cried out as she cackled and laughed and giggled and simply let her giddiness overflow. “We’re going to have so much fun together, I promise you that!”  
She felt the body she was holding onto tense up all of the sudden, as if she had struck some sort of nerve, but she didn’t pay much mind to it until she finally heard the man’s voice.

“Fun…?” 

A cold, rigid voice that made her look up in concern. 

Her eyes only met a pair of condescending, disapproving ones. 

“Will…?”

“Is that all you can think about? Is that how selfish you are?” 

Normally, William would say these things all the time to his subordinates, but this time it felt different. There was venom in his voice, like he was going in for a kill. 

“I… well, that’s not it! I thought we’d agreed on making a fair bet and I happened to win!” She giggled, rather awkwardly, but one could tell she was trying to lighten up the mood. 

“It’s always like this with you. You run your mouth about meaningless rubbish, you ignore the one job you’re supposed to do, you do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences, and now you get your way because of a stupid bet that we made because you refused to look beyond your own orbit for once!” 

“W-Will, what’s gotten into you? It’s just a bet! You didn’t look like you were feeling all that good, so it’s okay, y-you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to...” Her smile was quivering a little bit, but she kept it on her face as she brought her hands up to grip at her chest. She tried to meet his gaze again and again, but he kept whipping his face away from her sight. She was really confused, but maybe he was just overwhelmed over the loss. He was a very proud reaper after all. 

“Oh, so now you’re worried about how I might feel!? Why does it matter anyways, why do feelings hold so much weight to you? Why does everything revolve around that? I really don’t understand and it drives me insane, how you’re always up in my face, spitting nonsense and getting into my head all because of your stupid feelings. You really never get tired of being a nuisance, do you!?” 

And just like that, the smile that she was trying so hard to maintain quickly disappeared from her face. At first, William hadn’t processed his words through his blind anger and the sudden panicked breaths that were threatening to come out, words that in his mind were a reprimand to himself and his own bubbling, annoying, stupid feelings but instead came out, violent and venomous and shot at the first person in their way. However, the second he witnessed her smile fading, he felt his heart sinking. Her eyes were still fixated on him, but she looked so utterly devastated. He had never seen her like that before. 

“Oh, wow…” Ronald’s voice resounded from his spot. 

“I… wait, that’s not… I didn’t…” 

“Huh… well, I’m really sorry my stupid feelings were such a nuisance to you. I never meant to make you feel that way.” She sighed. She suddenly didn’t look devastated anymore. She didn’t look sad, she didn’t look angry. Her face was blank, which was all the more shocking. “I’m uh,” She seemed a little lost, but she simply pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear and picked up her notebook and her scythe and propped it up over her shoulder. “this was probably a waste of your time as well, huh? It was fun though. Though I guess that’s also meaningless to you.” Grell shrugged, already stepping towards the edge of the rooftop to take her leave. 

William’s chest was tightening more and more with each second that passed, and he felt a foreign sensation threatening to take over him. It was panic, but he hadn’t felt it in so long and his body wasn’t taking it well.

He tried to step forward. “Wait, Sutcliff, I didn’t mean to…” 

Grell barely turned her head to look at him, though most of her hair covered her face from the angle she was staring at him from. “No, don’t worry, William. I get it, I’ve heard that many times, I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be so... blunt about it, you know? But it’s only fair, I kept pushing your buttons and I should’ve gotten a clue that you couldn’t stand me from literally any one of our interactions together. Honestly, it's a lot better than some of the things I've had to hear.” She laughed, though instead of her cheerful, loud, happy laughter, it sounded bitter and contained. “I’ve got to go now, though. I don’t want to waste your time any longer. I have to do my reports for the day and it’s getting late. I really don’t feel like doing overtime this time. See you later, Ronnie. William.” 

And with that, she swiftly jumped off the rooftop and took her leave. 

“Bye, Miss Grell! I’m hoping to see you at the pub soon! It’s been a while!” He shouted, simply expecting her to hear him. 

A suffocating silence fell over the two men after that.

“Well, now she’s off your case if that’s what you wanted.” Ronald chimed in again, giving William a harsh pat on the back. “You should be glad, superior Spears.” He said in a congratulatory manner, but he honestly sounded more condescending than anything. There was clearly nothing to be glad about.

"I..." He was speechless. He knew he needed to take responsibility for what he did, but at the same time, his thoughts were racing, screaming at him in search of an answer. Why did he say all that to her, when he was trying to come to terms with what he himself was feeling? Why, now out of all times, did he decide to exteriorize what he felt instead of keeping it in like he always did? Was he that overwhelmed over that dumb self punishment he put himself through, over his stupid ethics that forced him not to emote at all, that he lashed out at the first person who showed him some understanding outside of rigid, cold work coded behavior? He couldn't find a way to justify what he did, because honestly, there wasn't, but he was trying to find an explanation. 

In his shock, he turned his head to stare at his subordinate, who was still standing there. 

Ronald stared back. He seemed upset, but also like he was trying his best not to jump and punch his superior and risk his free time over a punishment.

“Sorry, man, if you're trying to get me to butt in again, there's nothing I can do. You kinda snapped out of nowhere and everything you said was kinda completely uncalled for. This is now out of my reach. I wanted you two to settle things down with the bet idea but now there’s nothing I can do for you, other than give you advice. But you can do something, and that something is to go and apologize to her. If she even wants to talk to you, that is. Never seen her like that before.” 

William bit his lip, his grip around his pruner tightening. He was really going to have to open up to apologize like a normal person, huh? His pride was hurt, but the voice in the back of his head that thought of Grell with warmth and fondness, that thought of her as a fun to be around co-worker who was most likely to turn a boring day into a completely different experience, was louder than his pride. Yes, she was irresponsible and put a lot of reapers' job at risk, but she didn't deserve to be put down over wanting to escape that overwhelming work life, even if it was for a moment. He, as her supervisor, knew better than anyone what she had to go through every day, and this was the last thing she needed.

A sigh left his lips. "I apologize... I'm going to make it up to her."

"Mr. Spears?" Ronald's voice called, quietly.

William looked up only to meet his subordinate's eyes, cold and penetrating. He didn't look like himself.

"I shouldn't be the one hearing an apology. I really hope you think your words through and mean it when you apologize to her. This is not a once in a lifetime offense, you have a lot of things to make up for and this is your best chance. I mean it when I say I haven't seen her like this in a while, so you better make it right or so help me."

William froze.

“Welp, I'm gonna leave you to fix this! Gotta go hand in my reports! There’s a beauty waiting for me! Good luck, superior Spears!”


	2. bloody idiot

The very next morning, William went right back to his usual work schedule. 

There was a lot of paperwork to go over that day. 

He wasn’t going to pretend that nothing had happened and let it slide until the storm went calm. Hell, he couldn’t get what had happened out of his head. The venomous words that came out of his mouth, the devastated look on Grell’s face, the threat Ronald had sent his way.

He hadn’t been able to sleep that night, and today, it showed. 

The first thing he did when he arrived at the building was walk past anyone who threatened to stop to greet him, which must have confused a lot of the reapers on duty that day. Supervisor Spears always stopped by to greet his coworkers. His greetings weren’t the friendliest, no, but a simple “get back to work.” would do. This time, he ignored everyone until he arrived at his office, where he locked himself in. 

He couldn’t let anyone see that something was troubling him, the most responsible and work driven reaper there was. 

So much for responsibility and hard work, though. All he had done that morning was simply stare at piles upon piles of papers. Whenever he’d grab his pen and readied himself to start writing, each and every time he’d found himself freezing when a sudden thought of her flashed across his mind. So far, he’d ended up with three different sheets, all displaying a blob of ink on the place where he had pressed the pen against before spacing out entirely. 

He couldn’t do this anymore.

He was letting feelings take over his life and for once, preventing him from doing the one thing he excelled at.

It’s not like he could fix this immediately and go on with his life.

Of course he could! But… but how…?

It felt horrible to admit it but he’d never had to apologize to anyone in his life, at least genuinely. Last time he’d remembered doing so was when he yelled at a rookie for mixing up the paperwork from fifty different collections, and because the rookie began cowering and seemed like he was about to cry, all William could do was bow and utter a quiet “I apologize for my behavior, next time please try not to make the same mistake again.” 

But a simple “I apologize.” wouldn’t suffice for Grell. 

Not because she was Grell, and her life had always been so theatrical and filled with intense emotions, but because he was sure that if he apologized so meaninglessly to her just so the air between them would stop being so tense, he could never bring himself to look at her in the eye again. 

Yes, he would’ve apologized, but why would he treat her like she was dumb and would take it regardless. She wasn’t dumb and he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her like he did with literally every other coworker. He wanted to be truthful and he wanted her to notice it.

He had no idea why he felt that a bond like that meant so much to him that losing it would drive him insane, but it did, and he wanted to make it up to her the best he could, but he was stubborn. So damn stubborn… 

He bit his lip and put his pen down as he shut his eyes close.

He felt so dumb, letting his stubborness consume him and making him lash out at the one person he truly… cared about.

Hell, he even felt dumb admitting to himself that he cared for her, since all he ever did was treat her like she meant nothing, but ever since their encounter during their graduation exam, he’d seen a spark in her that he couldn’t really describe, but it made him grow incredibly interested in her.

He wasn’t truly sure if it was… if it was romantic enticement... but he sure knew he wanted to know her better. 

When he saw her getting along, laughing with Ronald, or with Slingby or any of her few friends, he felt… warmth. She overflew with warmth. She was the strongest person he knew. Even after everything she had to put up with on a regular basis, even after having so many vile things and words thrown her way, she would show up to work every day with a big smile on her lips, laughing, yelling, flaunting herself. 

She was brave, the bravest reaper he’d ever come across. 

In a way, he longed to be like her. But his stupid code of work over personal needs prevented him from opening up like he wished he could. 

Why did he still abide by that code if it made him so miserable? He himself wasn’t sure, his memories were foggy now, but he knew that in a way, he did it to drown those same memories, to protect the one thing he had, which was work and perfection, to prevent him from getting overwhelmed with emotion and end up driving every perfect thing in his life for the worse, to prevent his family from hating him for seeking a fulfilling life outside of the norm, to prevent his father from disowning him and kick him out of the house, to prevent himself from taking that rope and—

He suddenly began feeling out of breath and had to jolt up to grip at his chest in his attempt to regain some air. Reapers didn’t need to breathe, but panic attacks were something that affected them the same as humans. They weren’t far from being humans, in the end. 

William groaned once he'd managed to calm down a bit, pressing his forehead against the desk. 

There was no justification to the way he treated anyone, but especially her, whether it was out of jealousy, out of a dumb way of self defense, or whatever it was. It was stupid and cruel. 

He felt pathetic.

He needed to apologize to her, even if that meant doing what he feared the most. Opening up.

And just as if carefully choosing the perfect time to burst into his office, his door was suddenly kicked open to reveal an ashy blonde reaper whose eyes went wide when he spotted his supervisor quickly jump into a straight position and whipping his head right down to stare at his papers. 

Great. 

"Um… supervisor Spears?" The man called, as if his brutish entrance hadn't already been enough for him to notice his presence. 

He couldn't allow a subordinate to see him in this state. He was pretty sure he had tears threatening to escape from his eyes and his appearance overall wasn't the most appropriate after a night without sleep. 

"What's so important that you felt the need to storm into my office like that, Slingby?" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn't sure if he was being a good actor but by the look on Slingby's face it seemed like he had been convincing enough. 

"Oh uh… I'm sorry, William! Alan was sent to the Oxford branch to go over some collections because of their lack of reapers, and I was really bored because I had no one to talk to so I ended up offering myself to do some extra paperwork to try and distract myself but it turned out to be a little too much for me and uh, hehe… I kinda ended up losing some case files in between different case files and I need help sorting them out…" 

William couldn't even begin to describe how he felt at that moment but it was an array of so many different things and none of them was good. 

"I'm…" Honest to god, it was the first time he could admit that he could have cared less about the paperwork, he kind of had his own mess to fix. However, because Eric looked like he was already accepting whatever punishment he had coming his way, he decided to clear things up first. 

"Listen, Slingby. If this happens one more time, I promise you I will give you overtime until the day you die, and you know that's no easy task for a reaper." He hissed. "Go and ask for some help, any one of your office partners ought to give you a hand. I for one am extremely busy and I don't have time to deal with your messes like you're some child." The dark haired man sighed, much to the other's surprise. He was honestly expecting much worse from what he could tell. 

Eric sighed, relieved, a smile creeping onto his lips. “Phew, thank you, William! Gonna go do that right away, sorry for the interruption!” 

“Wait, Slingby!” He called before he could even turn to leave, his voice almost desperate. And the blonde noticed, because he turned to look at his superior with a raised brow, but he remained silent, allowing him to continue. 

William cleared his throat and assumed a more professional position. 

“I’m uh… have you seen your coworkers lately...?” He asked, eyeing him very carefully.

“Um… aren’t you being a little vague, Will?” He chuckled. “What are you talking about?” 

“Have Knox, or… or Sutcliff approached you today?” 

“Oh… well, haven’t seen Ronald today…” He paused longer than necessary, putting William on edge. “Oh! But I did see Grell! How can I miss her? She’s the only spot of color in this place.” Eric laughed, scratching at the back of his head. 

The black haired man suddenly perked up, shooting him a subtle but still very interested look. “How was she? Do you happen to know where she is…?” 

“Oh man, did she do something wrong? Last time I saw her she was glued to her desk and doing some reports. Honestly, it was kind of weird, never saw her focus so hard on written assignments, she also didn’t really respond when I said hi. Maybe today isn’t her day, which is a bummer, she always brings cheer into our sector. Please don’t be too hard on her if you’re going to scold her.” Eric begged.

William frowned in response. This was his doing. 

He nodded and gave Eric a slight smile. “Thank you, that will be it for now, Slingby. Please get back to work” 

Eric, having shuddered from the sight of Supervisor Spears threatening to smile, gave a bow. “Y-Yeah, no problem, Will.” He muttered and quickly left. 

He felt glad in a way. She looked so utterly torn last night, he was… relieved she came to work in the first place. 

William, very decisively, stood up from his chair and carefully pushed the piles of papers to a side so he could remember to do them later, right now, they weren’t important.

First thing he did was head into the nearest restroom so he could at least wash his face. He fixed his hair, and after taking his glasses off and placing them inside his chest pocket, he turned on the coldest water he could get and splashed his face repeatedly in an attempt to wash all the hesitation that could threaten to cloud his judgement. 

Once he was done and had placed his glasses back on, he looked up only to find his own reflection staring back at him from the mirror. He frowned, and made sure to slap both of his cheeks firmly. What are you so afraid of? You made her feel that way and you’re going to be brave, outwardly show some empathy for once and apologize to her. 

He nodded at his inner thoughts, and rushed out of the restroom and in the direction of her sector. 

And just as Eric had promised, there she was, curled up onto her chair, head down and hair managing to wrap her entire body as if it was some sort of comfort blanket. At first glance, she looked like she was writing but when taking a closer look, she seemed to be hovering her pen over her papers, maybe so anyone who would see her thought she was hard at work and assumed that was the sole reason she was so silent that morning.

William sighed, only to quickly gather some air into his lungs and approach her position. 

“Sutcliff.” He called, cold as he usually would.

He saw her body jolt with surprise, but then all the tension left her she returned to her slouched posture. 

He was met with silence from her part though. 

“Sutcliff, this is an important work matter, I need to talk to you, could you come with me? It’ll only take a moment.” 

Her grip on her pen tightened, but once again, she didn’t respond. He got the hint. 

“Come into my office when you have the time. Please.” He simply said with a bow of his head, and with that, he walked away. 

He gritted his teeth. Of course she wouldn’t want to even talk to him, he wanted to apologize to her but he couldn’t force her to accept whatever he had to say. Something inside of him wished she considered coming into his office like he had suggested, but if she didn’t, then he’d give it up and give her space if that’s what she needed the most.

Once back at his desk, he dropped his body down onto the chair and began organizing his papers so he could start working. 

At least doing the one thing he was good at would take his mind off of things, even if it was for a brief moment.

Even after hours had gone by and he had found himself having to force some motivation to work onto himself so at least he’d have something to hand to his superiors at the end of the day, he was restless, tapping his fingers against the desk, or his pen against the paper, or his foot against the floor, and in some instances, he even decided to leave some papers without reviewing and put them in between some of the completed ones so hopefully no one would notice. He just wanted to finish fast and sign off early so he could go home and rest his head. His mind kept wandering around the idea of stopping by the pub and let a little bit of alcohol numb his thoughts, but he came to the conclusion that a drunk William was most likely to break down crying and he didn’t want to make a scene in a public setting.

So his plan remained going home, lying down and staring at the ceiling. Honestly, it sounded sad and pathetic but that was something he hadn’t done in a long time.

As he was finishing writing his signature on the last sheet of paper and getting up from the chair, a knock on the door immediately sent him to a sitting position once again. 

“What is it? Are these really hours to be knocking at my door? My shift is about to end.” He sighed, assuming it was Eric in need of help again, but when he saw the door creak open and strands of red hair creep in, his eyes widened.

“You said you needed me here.” Her voice chimed in, monotone and a tad confused. “If not I can just leave.”

“No!” He quickly retracted and tried to sound less nervous. “No, no, I thought you were Slingby. Please come in.” 

Grell nodded, and slowly, she stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. Her arms were crossed and she was slightly poking her hip out. Her face displayed expectation, she probably wanted to go home as well. 

“Before you tell me that I should’ve been out working today, I must inform you that I wasn’t in the mood to go out on fieldwork but I compensated by completing all of my due paperwork today, I did send Alan in my place if that was what you wanted to complain about.” She sighed. 

William looked at her a bit startled, but then leaned forward and leaned his body against his desk only to shake his head at her. “I- No, I didn’t call you here to complain about anything.”

The red reaper looked genuinely surprised. “Then… what is it?” 

He looked to a side, hesitating, to his own dismay. After a moment of him just fidgeting in place, he turned his head and tried to make eye contact. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night.” 

Grell’s eyes widened ever so slightly, but just as quick as he seemed to have startled her, she went back to her expectant, almost tired look. “Oh.” The sound left her lips almost instinctively. Her arms were crossed across her chest and almost appeared to be holding her body in an embrace.

William took his time to analyze her body language, but he couldn’t exactly read what she was conveying. Out of every single reaper he had ever worked with, she had remained the only one who was truly unpredictable enough for him to be unable to read her. That was one of the many things he liked about her. He seemed to have taken longer than he expected to, however.

“Well?” 

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” 

“Oh… Oh! Yes, yes, I spaced out for a moment there, forgive me.” 

“Good grief, William…” She sighed, quietly. 

The man cleared his throat, and remained silent for a little longer as he thought his words through. 

"I'm… what I said to you… I don't, I didn't mean it. Your feelings are not a nuisance at all, you're allowed to be open about them without having to be put down for it. I was having a bad day, I always plan things ahead of time and that day everything was going exactly the opposite of how I'd planned, and, I don't know, a lot of things were going through my mind. It's a common occurrence at this point though, you're always changing up my schedule one way or another." He said, chuckling a little. His hands were sweaty and he felt his legs shaking ever so slightly. He couldn't believe he was finally doing it. He felt like he was going to run out of breath at any moment. He could feel her eyes glued to him, but this time, he didn't dare to look back at her. He was beginning to regret it. Suddenly everything felt so heavy, like the world was falling down on him. Just like that day. "It… It doesn't excuse what I said at all but, I want you to understand that it was a spur of the moment… you know this wouldn't have happened in the first place if you had been willing to put your pride aside and do things the way everyone else is supposed to. It really wasn't that difficult and we wouldn't be in this debacle if you had listened to me." He gritted his teeth, each word coming out quieter and quieter as he slowly realized that he was unconsciously letting his panicked words replace what he really meant to say. 

Throughout his apology, the red reaper had been staring at him the whole time, trying to find genuineness if not on his face, on his voice, and as he went on, she found herself softening her stance. Even if she couldn't see his face, his voice sounded different, he sounded strained, like he'd been holding it in. She even rolled her eyes and smiled at the mention of her messing with his oh so precious schedule. He didn't sound angry, or sad about it. It felt like he recalled it with melancholy. However, when he paused and then continued on, she slowly found herself welcoming a new frown upon her features. All this just so he could use his apology against her to make her admit that she was wrong? And for what? Everything over a stupid bet that Mr. Perfect couldn't accept he lost. Was he so selfish that he pretended to care only to have her humiliate herself in front of him? She couldn't take this. 

"Mm, I thought so. You wouldn't just apologize, that would be too damaging for your ego." She clicked her tongue and turned on her heels to open the door. She gripped the doorknob with anger, and swung the door open, only to hear the loud sound of the chair being dragged. 

"Wait, Grell!" William had stood up and called out, this time not even bothering to hide his desperation. "I'm sorry, I did it again, that last part, that's not how… That's not how I feel!" Suddenly his whole speech pattern had changed. Ever so formal and monotonous William was now crying out like a scared young man, and this made Grell freeze. Still frowning, she hesitated, but chose to close the door and turn only her head to glare at him. 

"You did what again?" She asked, cautious but curious. 

"I… I keep… I keep pushing things to the deepest parts of myself, things I want to say, things I want to do, things I want to… I want to feel… It's so stupid and nonsensical, and I'm the breathing example that it makes for an irrational behavior pattern, but ever since I can remember I kept forcing myself to do this, so sometimes it becomes an unconscious thing, like… like a defense mechanism…" 

"Why do you feel the need to build up a defense mechanism like that?"

"I'm… I'm scared… I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of not being brave enough to face things head on. I'd always been an oversensitive person, I'd been told I feel too much, I wanted too much, I expected the best from everyone, and my life was a living hell because of it. When I became a reaper, I realized I could start over, and even if that man was still there, I could pretend that I simply didn't care, like everything was under control and appear like the bigger person. And for a while, it was working. I had good enough grades at the academy, I made friends, I had people ask me for advice, people look up to me. I could read people, know their intentions and analyze if it was convenient for me to build a relationship with them, and things seemed easier, for a moment I did believe I had things under control." 

She decided to stay silent. 

"But then you came along… you came along and made everything so difficult yet… it didn't feel like a bad thing, but it also did feel like a slap in the face. You were so different from anyone I'd ever met. I remember that even when you were angry, you simply let everyone know, you were the most open person I'd ever met, always in your face and letting you know exactly how she felt, without a care of how you'd take it. You've always prioritized yourself over others, how you felt, your comfort was more important than what others thought, and I admire that so much about you. I've always looked up to you… I think you're so strong and brave, and I'm pretty sure most of the time I felt jealous that saying how you felt came as so natural to you, even after everything people put you through, and on top of that, you had to deal with your previous coworker now seemingly power hungry supervisor putting you down every time you needed a breath of fresh air in a job that you've always done flawlessly despite a few inconsistencies here and there. Every time you did something wrong, you took responsibility, and those times I can count with one hand. And you were always so eager to get back to work after a suspension. I really don't know how you do it, but I should've never blamed you for it, because it's the thing I admire about you the most. I'm genuinely, truly, sorry, and I understand if you can't forgive me after everything I've put you through, but I wanted you to know that I truly hold nothing against you… I'm sorry, I'm an idiot…" He felt his lip quiver and the tears that didn't dare to come out back when Eric was present threatening to come out in waves at any moment. He couldn't remember the last time he cried but he'd just poured every bit of himself to Grell, he didn't think breaking into tears would be too surprising. 

Grell, who had been staring in silence, had her hands pressed against her chest, one on top of the other, and the one that was pressing against her clothes was gripping at her vest with force. She couldn't believe everything she had just heard. She felt like she was about to cry as well. 

That was the first time someone had said something like that to her. That she was the bravest reaper there was, that someone looked up to her because she kept being herself despite the world turning against her. Yes, Ronald said it a lot, and while it meant the whole word when he said it, he was her best friend and she would expect that kind of comfort from a friend… however, it kind of hit different coming from someone that wasn't him, from an almost stranger in terms of emotional connection, from someone like William who she thought held so much spite towards her. 

She bit her lip, and slowly began approaching the man, who was still standing but held his head low and had to lean against the desk not to fall from how much his body was shaking. 

"Yes, you are." She sighed, smiling as she carefully pressed a finger against his chin and lifted his face so she could take a look at him. "You're a big, bloody idiot!" She yelled, quickly hitting him on the arm, prompting him to shoot her a confused look. "Don't look at me like a lost puppy! Apologizing to a lady and making it about yourself?! Who do you think you are?!" She hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

He was about to speak but she interrupted him before he could. "And on top of that, you almost made me cry! My mascara is still fresh, you know what could happen if I cried!" She said in a whiny voice. 

William, now a little less confused, looked at the woman with wide eyes, a tear already running down his cheek. "S… So…" 

"Of course I forgive you, silly! Well... no, I don't! Not yet! You still have a lot of things to make up for, and I mean a lot, but you just poured all your feelings out to me, do you have any idea of how much this means to me? I'd never thought I'd see this moment ever! Me getting to witness it alone makes up for at least a couple centuries of you being an emotionally repressed meanie!"

"You sound like you're enjoying this way too much…"

"I am!" She giggled. "I got to see the real William, I couldn't be happier!" The redhead said cheerfully as she skipped towards the man and quickly wrapped her arms around him. She was back to her usual physical affection spurs. This time, however, William slowly returned the hug. They both seemed to need it. "I'm still upset, but understanding you a little better and knowing that you trusted me enough to tell me all this feels really comforting. Still, don't think you're gonna get off the hook this easily, you owe me big time, dear."

They stayed in that position, silently embracing each other and melting in each other's warmth, until William decided to break the silence. 

"Oh, I almost forgot... are you free tonight…?" 

Grell had to pull away so she could look at him. She looked lost. 

"Huh? I think so, why, darling?" 

"Oh, you know, so we can fulfill your part of the bet." He said with a weak smile. 

The woman looked like she was about to pass out. She really couldn't believe her ears. 

"What?! You're still up for the date?!" 

"I- of course, you did win and deserve to have what you asked for, it wouldn't be a fair bet if you didn't."

"Oh, I know that, darling. That date was going to happen regardless, well, not if you kept being an asshole, but what I meant was, we both just finished unloading a big charge of emotional baggage on each other, do you really think tonight would be good for a date? I'm up for it, obviously, but if this is the first time you've opened up in centuries, and you mentioned that dealing with your own feelings is still a difficult thing for you, then will you be okay? Dates with me are not exactly quiet and emotion-free." 

"You know what…? Tonight is perfect. I'm willing to take that risk. I'm sure it will be fun." William sighed, wiping one of his tears away.

Grell screeched, cupping William's cheeks and squeezing before pulling away, giving a few spins in her place and waltzing over to the door. "Heavens, I feel like I'm in a dream! I hope I never wake up!" She cackled. "My shift is over so I'm going straight home to get ready! See you tonight, Willy! You better pull your best look, handsome!" The girl said in a sing-song voice before exiting the office. One could hear her heels tapping against the floor as she rushed away. 

William was left alone, staring at the door, long after she'd left. 

Suddenly, his mind was silent for the first time in forever. 

He smiled to himself. Who knew feeling so emotionally exhausted would feel so relieving? And he was sure the date would bring with an even bigger load of different emotions because he couldn't even recall the last time he went out on a date. 

But that wasn't important at the moment, however. He needed to make himself a cup of coffee to recharge some energy. After all, he had a date to get ready for.


	3. magical

The sound of desperate heels clicking against the floor filled the room.

Grell was rushing from here to there, running from place to place, as she tried to find her things. She seemed nervous, she sounded nervous, she acted nervous. She was nervous! It was her very first date with William, after all, and even if things remained platonic between them, this was a moment she’d never expected to happen in the first place, so she had every right to feel ecstatic.

Sitting on her bed, was Ronald Knox, observing her with a smile. He seemed to be equally as fidgety as her, though. He felt hesitant.

“So I take it that he apologized?” He said, watching her as she fiddled with her make-up box, which she found hidden under her dresser, to get it to open.

The girl nods, gasping slightly when the box suddenly opened and sent her stumbling backwards. She smiled at her victory, and decisively, she walks towards her mirror and sits down in front of it, beginning the process of applying her make-up.

First, she takes out the mascara and carefully brushes her lashes, and as she spotted her blonde friend through the reflection, she smiled and took out the powders and other elements she was going to use.

Ronald hummed.

“And did you forgive him?”

Grell coughed a little as she kept powdering her face and some of the particles kept sneaking into her nose and throat. She could’ve been more careful, but she was in a rush, though she had always been very precise about her make-up, regardless if she did it fast or slow.

This time, the girl shook her head at the question, now having moved on to apply her favorite, crimson red lipstick to her lips. She puckered up, and carefully traced the shape of her lips with the velvet shade. Once she was finished, she grabbed a handkerchief she kept by her side and proceeded to clean off the sides of her mouth where some stains had been left. Then, suddenly, she stood up and ran into the bathroom, this time to find her hair products, and when she came back, she sat back down in front of her reflection to start on her hair. She brushed it, taking her time. She brushed every inch of hair, she undid the tangles. This, she treated it with the utmost care, even if she took longer than necessary. She loved her hair more than anything about herself. 

The woman kept brushing her hair until she suddenly held out the brush in her hand, and looked at Ronald through the reflection, smiling at him expectantly.

Ronald looked a little lost at first, but he didn’t take long to understand what she was asking for, so he stood up and positioned himself behind her. He ran his fingers through her hair, and with careful hands, he divided the left side into three strands and began braiding them together. She basically leaned into the touch. She loved having her head touched, and ever since she had taught him how to braid it, Ronald had always been so gentle. Besides, it came in handy when she needed to do her hair. The blonde kept doing this until he had a finished braid, and then moved to the right side to do the same thing, and when he was done there, he used the brush to build a bun in the middle, where he then connected the two braids.

“Then why is the date still up?” He finally asked, still brushing her hair until every strand had been tied up into the bun. She had never specified the hairstyle she wanted, but he knew she rocked the braided buns, so he went for that, and she didn’t seem to be disappointed in the slightest. She smiled at herself in the mirror.

“Well, I haven’t forgiven him, but he still owes me this date, darling. He promised he was going to start making up for a lot of things from now on. A girl has to be cautious, but he seemed genuinely sorry, and I decided to trust him.”

Ronald sighed. “Look, if something goes wrong, you need to tell me. He might be our superior, but I’m not cutting him any slack if he goes around hurting my girl’s feelings and then toying with them like they mean nothing!”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “Ronnie, you’re adorable…” 

The blonde blushed, looking like a child who was about to throw a fit.

“Don’t you worry, Ronnie. I won’t allow him to do that, I’ll make sure he regrets it myself if he decides to suddenly undo his entire apology! But I might as well give him a chance now, William looks like he’d be a gentleman when he’s not being a meanie.”

Ronald seemed reluctant, but he nodded and stood back once he finished working on her hair and he could finally take a good look at her in the mirror. He ended up giving her one of his soft, dumb smiles as he fixated on her. 

“You look stunning, Miss Grell…”

Grell tilted her head to a side, then to the other, never taking her eyes off of her reflection, and then, without warning, stood up, beaming. “Tell me something I don’t know, sweetie.” She laughed. 

She had already taken care of the clothes and put them on. It was the first thing she did after she had finished showering. 

She was sporting a red dress, which matched her lipstick perfectly. The dress was sleeveless and had a heart shaped neckline, accentuated by tiny red gems here and there. Black lace details showered the hemlines and the chest area, and what she loved the most about it, a thigh high slit on the right side. Her hands were clothed by red, lace gloves, and her legs with stockings. 

“I even chose my most beautiful dress for this. Madam had bought it for me… She’d always had a sweet tooth for tight fitting dresses.” She laughed. Her voice was laced with melancholy, but the smile never left her face. Madam would’ve cheered her on and even drag her to the meeting point herself if she took too long, so she remembered her with happiness.

She was ready.

“Why are we here again?”

A tired voice asked. The owner of the voice, a short, brown haired reaper, sat on a small couch in the corner of the room, staring at his partner, who in turn, was rummaging through a closet and throwing tie after tie around.

“To help William, of course!” Eric said nonchalantly, humming as he built a pile of ties on top of the bed beside him. They all looked the same, different shades of blacks, very boring. It was exhausting to look at.

“Yes, but apart from that, you haven’t told me anything else, you just dragged me here immediately after my shift was over.” Alan muttered, blowing the hair out of his eyes. He seemed to be a little discouraged.

“The supervisor is going on a date with Grell, we’re helping him get ready. He also said he needed some advice but he didn’t clarify what kind of advice so we might as well find out!” Eric said as he triumphantly took out a tie that he considered decent, and after folding it carefully between his hands, he sat on the bed next to the pile of discarded ones.

After a while they spent sitting in silence, William finally walked out of his dressing room in a formal, black tuxedo. It wasn’t very standoffish in any kind of way, which was very William in it of itself, but the cufflinks adorning his sleeves were shaped like two silver skulls, which Eric couldn’t help but snort at when he spotted them. 

Despite being a pretty simple attire, the man looked very different when he wasn’t in work uniform, and it honestly suit him a lot better, or so had he heard from a lot of people. Personally, he didn’t share that opinion, but he wanted to look his very best for tonight.

“Just in time, old sport!” Eric said in a very ancient accent that he didn’t quite pull off. “I found the perfect tie for you!” The tie he had chosen was the exact shape and color of the ones he had deemed unfit, he’d just gotten tired of looking, but honestly, he could see why he chose these ties. It was what looked better on him, it went well with who he was. 

“Strict and dull.” The blonde whispered to himself, in hopes that his superior wouldn’t hear him. 

William nodded and put on the tie, doing a pretty tight fit which he felt comfortable in. Then, he stared at the two before him, hesitant. He seemed to be thinking of something to say but couldn’t come up with anything. In all honesty, he just felt embarrassed to death. He couldn’t remember the last time he went out on a date, and the thought of going on one with the girl he’d avoided getting close to out of a deep rooted fear of personal bonds and had confessed he admired just a couple of hours ago was making his mind swirl and his cheeks flush with heat.

Alan, who had been the most silent out of the three, suddenly chimed in from his spot in the corner. 

“His hair.”

Both men looked at him confused.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” William said first, frowning.

Alan, not cowering, frowned back. “That hair’s got to go.”

“Why?” Eric decided to interrupt the tense air between the two dark haired men with a question of his own. “He looks pretty handsome in my opinion.” He shrugged, getting all up on William’s personal space and running his fingers through his hair.

“Well, the gelled hair makes him look too professional, too stiff. That simply won’t do for a date. He needs to either slick it back or let it loose. I’d go for loose hair, personally.” He said in the calmest voice, giving Eric a glance, who in return, looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Hm, you sure do know a lot about preparation for a date.” He teased. 

“I actually had plans for us tonight, that’s why I know, Mr. Romantic Advisor.” Alan teased back, rolling his eyes and smiling.

Eric’s eyes widened, and he seemed to freeze in place, staring at his partner dumbfounded, but when he lowered his defenses, he gave him an apologetic expression, like he was some wet puppy.

William, who had been standing still and under Eric’s grasp while he let it mess around with his hair the whole time, cleared his throat. “Um, forgive me, I seem to have interrupted something important by having you come here.”

“No, it’s okay, Supervisor. I’m having fun seeing Eric act like he’s some sort of love guru, it’s cute.” Alan chuckled. “Besides, we still have a whole night ahead of us, we can always do something later if you’re up to it.”

“O-Of course!” Eric said, flushed, giving Alan a hopeful smile.

They decided to take Alan’s advice and go with William’s natural hair, which was usually pretty messy altogether. Eric took advantage of the man’s freshly washed and gel free hair to mess with it to his advantage, playing with his locks, ruffling his hair here and there, doing just enough to annoy a man like William. However, before he could begin complaining, it seemed like he had finished, since he smiled proudly at his work and gave him a pat on the shoulder. 

“Look at you, never seen you _au natural_ before. You turned out to be such a handsome fella!” Eric chuckled.

William felt his eyebrow twitch a little. His ego wasn’t hurt, he didn’t usually get comments about his appearance to build one around it, but the comment had been a little unnecessary. 

“Excuse me?”

“Well, your bad attitude did make you a very hard to approach man in every aspect of the word, not gonna lie.” 

Alan nodded in agreement.

Ah, maybe that was why he never got those comments in the first place.

William looked at them with a startled expression. So he really had led everyone to have that image of him…

He sighed in defeat. “I guess you’re right.”

“Don’t worry, William! You still have good friends like us that know you for who you really are, and we’ll always be there for you if you ever need us! You just have to ask, you big softie!”

“Don’t overdo it, Slingby. You’re gonna make me regret inviting you here.” William groaned. He had told them the basics of the situation, but he wasn’t as open as he had been with Grell. Not only did he not feel strong enough to do that ever again, but she was the only one he trusted like that.

Eric smiled and stretched his body, a yawn leaving him as a result of his hard work. He made his way towards Alan and put his hand out so he could help him up.

“Well, we kinda have our own place to be right now, William, and so do you! So good luck out there! Remember what I said, you need to let loose and have fun, stop thinking about the consequences of things… stop thinking about anything for a change! Everyone deserves a night away from the restrictions of being a reaper.” Eric said, waving goodbye at him, and so did Alan, before walking out of his room and then out of his place to leave him alone with his thoughts.

He wasn’t really sure if what he felt towards Grell had any romantic implications, but he also wasn’t sure why this date was making his mind wander towards a world of endless thoughts, and endless outcomes, which all made him flustered, all at the same time. It was the same kind of feeling he’d get when she had to hand him his glasses for the first time, or whenever he would look at her and would spot her running and waving her chainsaw around during fieldwork, or whenever she would give him that wide, shark smile of hers. 

He had to shake his head to stop the thoughts from flowing. He had no time to be getting like this. It was confusing, yes, but he was wasting time and he had a place to be at. 

It was already well past midnight, and Grell was already waiting at their previously established meeting point, right in front of a restaurant William had picked. 

She had always had her eye on this particular one, it required reservations and everything, but she had never had the chance to go inside. It was like he had read her mind when he had picked it.

When she saw his figure walking towards her in the distance, she waved her arms in the air in excitement to catch his attention.

When she finally came into his sight, he had to stop walking in his bewilderment. 

She looked so… so beautiful… so, so beautiful… William hadn’t noticed that he was staring at her speechless. In return, she stared back, only to jump in to hug the man. 

“Is that a way to greet a lady, Will?” She whined. “Gawking at her like that? So shamelessly? At least be more subtle next time!”

He tried to excuse himself, but he ended up stumbling on his words and all that came out was a noise that he couldn’t really describe, but she managed to stop him from speaking by placing a finger to his lips. She only had to look at him to get him to understand. Time was running and they had a reservation to attend to.

She stepped in first, but she had to be held back from just running inside by the man at the administration. She sighed in defeat, but patiently waited for William to confirm the reservation with a pout on her lips, however, when he gave her a nod and held up the paper that signaled the table number, she smiled wide and ran straight for it.

She sat down on the table and looked around, taking in and admiring the atmosphere that was built inside the place. Beautiful crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling and gave the place a comforting yellow lightning, the tables were all so perfectly decorated and placed, everyone inside looked so pleased and elegant. She was in heaven. 

William sat down after her, a little restless, since he seemed to be unable to be still, having to move around the chair, or feeling the need to start chewing on one of the breadsticks placed at the center of the table to keep his mind empty. Suddenly, Grell turned towards him with the cutest spark in her eye. 

“What are you going to order, Will?”

“I um… I’m not sure. I think I’ll ask for the house specialty when the waiter comes around…” He stayed silent for a while, watching her nod, interested, at his response. “Uh, what about you?”

“I usually order every red thing on the menu!” She immediately answered. “So I think I’m gonna go with that tonight as well!” 

Of course she did. 

When the waiter came to their table, they did their respective orders, Grell’s forcing the waiter to write down at the speed of light as she listed what she wanted in detail. And as they waited for their food, and even when it was brought to them and they had begun eating, Grell had started to verbally express her thrill about being here, about how she had prepared herself for the moment, and even trying to spark some conversation with the man who was silent and fidgety, asking him questions, how his day had been, if something else had been troubling him, if he remembered the last time he’d gone out on a date. Sometimes, he lost the track of the conversation and found himself unable to answer, but she kept the conversation going, somehow, doing what she always did and talking about whatever kept her mind occupied at the moment. Even if he was unable to keep track at times, since his nerves were threatening to eat him alive, William did find himself staring at her as she spoke, listening attentively in his silence, but also focusing on her face as she emoted on every word she said, on the smile she displayed as she spoke. It was a smile that he wished he could see every day, the smile that had struck him on that day, and every single day from then on.

Whenever she would look at him, he would even get startled because, well, he had been caught staring, but he would try to smile back, clumsily, but in the end, causing her to giggle, so that meant he was doing a good thing… right?

Even long after they had finished eating, they had stayed inside a little bit more. He couldn’t bring himself to interrupt her ramblings, since he was way too drawn into them at this point, and she had clearly lost the concept of time and was just speaking because she enjoyed doing so. He really appreciated it. He never interrupted her, but a foreign voice did.

“I take it that you two have finished, right? I really need you to leave now, since more people are waiting for their respective reservations.” The man at administration had walked over to them and said. 

Grell looked at him with a raised eyebrow, her smile suddenly leaving her face. 

“Is that a way to talk to someone? At least say please and thank you! We were in the middle of something.” She said, clicking her tongue. 

The man looked at her with disdain, and shook his head. “It seems to be the one who needs a lesson in respect is you. At this point, you’re only taking up space here. There’s more people waiting for a table. Where do you think you are? If you want to blabber on about nonsense, go do it outside.” 

“Tch, the food was horrible, anyways, stop acting like it’s such a big deal and go back to your post. We’ll leave if you leave us alone.” 

The man seemed to have taken her comment very much personally, and he seemed to have turned around to signal some of the waiters to come over. 

William’s eyes widened, and he had no idea what was going through his mind at the moment, but he was quick to get up, grab Grell’s hand and not only push the man out of the way, but run past him and the other waiters and out of the restaurant, dragging her out in the process. They were probably going to be kicked out anyways, so he thought the other sensible option was to run… without paying... 

To make sure they weren’t chased, he even made it on top of a rooftop and continued his run from there. She hadn’t fully processed the situation until William had taken them miles away from the restaurant. He had stopped when he’d run out of air, and let go of her hand to catch his breath. His eyes were wide. He himself couldn’t believe what he had done. It was almost a reflex action. 

Grell was standing by his side, also having to take a moment to breathe. It wasn’t easy having to keep up with someone making her run in a tight fitting dress. 

“What was that…?” She asked, hand on her chest. 

“I… I don’t know…” William said in his shock.

Grell suddenly felt a smile creep onto her lips. “Will… that was…” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the date, I just… I panicked and…”

“That was amazing!” The woman burst into laughter. 

“H-Huh?” 

“To think Mr. William T. Spears would run out of a restaurant without paying because he panicked! That was so thrilling! You sure are something, sir!” She said in between gasps for air, leaning onto his frame for support so she wouldn’t fall from how much she was laughing.

“I…” He felt a sudden chuckle trying to escape his throat. “I guess it was thrilling, yes...” 

Still a little bewildered, William stared at her, confused, as she waltzed in front of him and took both of his hands in between hers, carefully leading him towards the edge of the building they were now standing on and giving them both a twirl, as if they were dancing, only to give him a proud smile and let go of him before simply sitting down right on the edge, her legs dangling and her hair flowing with the cool, night wind.

William smiled, and walked over to sit down by her side. 

He took his time to stare at her.

She was staring at the night sky, her figure being carefully hugged by the dim light of the streets of London. Yes, it was extremely hard for him to admit that he was this emotionally vulnerable, to come to terms with himself, but for the first time in a long time, he could admit he felt genuinely happy.

"Was the food really horrible?"

Grell rolled her eyes. "Not really, it was delicious, actually. I just needed something to make him feel bad for yelling at me."

William couldn't help but laugh.

After a couple of minutes of them just sitting in silent and relishing in it, he sighed contently, catching Grell's attention. He blushed at the sudden glance she shot him.

He decided it was finally time to come clean. He felt more comfortable speaking here, in a more intimate setting, in a place only they could share.

“I had fun tonight, Grell.” He said quietly, to which she smiled.

“I did too, Will!” 

She turned to look at the sky once more, allowing him to think his words through.

“To be honest… it’s been a while since I’ve had any fun in general…” He started. “You… You asked me before and I couldn’t answer, but actually, I do remember the last time I went on a date.” 

Grell perked up a little bit, noticing William’s expression softening as he stared down at the empty streets.

“In truth, the last time I went on a date with someone…”

“You were alive?” she asked, almost knowingly. 

He gave her a startled look and she only smiled. 

“From the way you reacted everytime it was brought up, I kind of figured it out myself.” She said, her expression impossible to read, but it had a tint of bitterness and sadness. Talking about a reaper’s previous life was an almost taboo topic, but at this point, they seemed to talk about it as if it was nothing. It still brought painful memories with it, so she couldn’t help to feel that tightness in her chest when she said it.

“I… Yes, i don’t remember the details, she was my then girlfriend, people I cared about didn’t approve of us, though… Point is… this... this really is the first time in centuries I’ve been able to let loose again, smile and laugh, and hell, the way you make me feel is something I haven’t felt, ever,, not even when i was alive, so it’s really comforting.”

“My, Mister Spears. From the way you’re talking about me one would think you have a crush on me or something” She purred jokingly, her head high as she stared forward, however, when she was met with silence, she gave the man a glance only to find him blushing bright red and avoiding eye contact.

Will remained silent, so Grell thought she had simply hit a nerve. She was aware of how often William had this same reaction whenever she’d flirt with him, and she assumed it had to do with his lack of real human contact in centuries, so she simply thought it was normal.

Suddenly, a smirk appears on her lips. 

If that was the case, she wanted to mess with him, at least for a little bit. 

Grell sighed, trying to be subtle about it, as she closed the gap between the man and her by slowly sliding close to him, only to break through several miles of personal space and close in on his face once she was pressed against him.

“So all this time Mister Spears has been forced to have a close encounter with his feelings because he was in love with me and couldn’t come to terms with it…?” She whispered. “Oh Will, and I was fawning over you like a fool, with no hopes of ever getting a chance to woo you. And it turns out you were just as in love with me as I was with you… So. Dreamy...” she purred once their lips were barely apart.

William wanted to speak, once again, stumbling on his words. His eyes were fixated on her and he couldn’t stop shaking, and when Grell moved away so she could look at his reaction, it only then hit her.

Her eyes went wide. She had to quickly pull away to get a proper look at his face. 

“Wait, really?!” 

Silence.

“William! William, are you serious!? You better not be messing with me! Say something!” Grell almost begged, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

“Listen… I-I’m not as good of a trickster as you are, neither am I good at lying…” He simply said, causing her face to flush as red as his. 

“So…”

“Look, I’m not sure if it’s… if it’s love… but I am incredibly infatuated by you, and everything you do. Yes, I’ve always admired you, but over time I began to notice that my admiration felt more intense all of the sudden, and one day, I looked at you and everything in me began to go crazy. for once, I could finally feel my heartbeat for the first time, and it was only when you were around... “ 

“William…” 

“Tonight, I’ve felt like that more times than I could count. and I have no idea how this all works, or how you’re supposed to talk about this without dying in the process, but… but all I could think about tonight is how things would be if we did these things more often, if we could be closer… It's so difficult for me, and the idea of a genuine bond terrifies me, but I do wanna try…”

Grell had been staring at him speak in silence, at the way he would let a genuine, dorky smile creep onto his lips whenever he’d soften up and speak about his feelings, or about her, and when he finished speaking, she had to turn around so he couldn’t see her cupping her red cheeks and bite her lip to contain herself from screaming. She couldn’t believe this was happening, at all. 

Once she was done internally celebrating, she turned to him and sighed. 

She slowly placed a hand over his, which was resting by her side, and closed in on him again, which managed to startle him.

“God, Will. You kept all this sentimentalism” She said signaling his entire self. “to yourself and it makes me so unbelievably upset because every word you say feels like it’s going to kill me…” 

William never brought eye contact, still pretty much flustered, as her hand went from resting over his to slowly creeping up his arm, and despite being pretty much pressed against him, she attempted to close the small gap in between them.

“It’s so obvious that you’re overcompensating for years of not saying how you felt so now you’re being so extremely mushy right now, it’s painful…” She said softly, finally wrapping both of her arms around the man’s neck in a gentle embrace and pressing her body against his. In her current position, she leaned in, and barely brushed her lips against his cheek, only to smile when she felt him shiver under her embrace. He had his eyes shut close already, like he was expecting the kiss, so she couldn’t help but fawn at the sight and give in. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, warm from the way he was blushing.

“Honestly, you make it impossible for me to hate it. I love it so much, william.” The woman whined in a dreamy, blissful voice. She noticed his stance had softened and he was pretty much leaning into her embrace at this point. She giggled. 

The woman used one of her hands to cup the man’s cheek and turn his face towards hers, so she could look at him in the eye. The dreamy look in her eyes was beautiful. 

“IIf you want to try, we can try. But you’ll have to get used to the stares…”

“Why would they stare? I mean, yes, you’re beautiful, and fun, and interesting, but...” He seemed unfazed as he said all this.

“I'm-” She found herself blushing once again. “Damn right I am, dummy! I meant because you’re in position of power, where everyone's always judging everything you do, and I know I am the most stunning woman you’ve ever seen, but you need to remember that others just see me as the annoying coworker that they’re forced to deal with… not everyone likes me for all of me, and you’re going to have to get used to people talking shit.” She muttered, lowering her head and frowning.

William was the one to tilt her head back to him this time. “Hm, well, they can talk all they want, that’s not going to spare them from the imminent overtime that I’m going to give them if they try to not only outsmart a superior but also disrespect a fellow coworker.”

The woman smiled weakly, finally looking up at her companion and laughing. 

“You’re ruthless, Mister Spears.” 

Slowly, she noticed that William was growing increasingly flustered and slowly closing in his face towards her, and having caught his intentions, she couldn’t help but to snort as she tried to hold back a giggle, and carefully, she cupped his cheeks and went in for the kiss first. 

Suddenly, she felt his hands rest on her waist and pull her closer. She grinned against his lips, but she never broke the kiss, if only, she went in and deepened it, melting into the tender feeling he was providing. 

And so they melted in a seemingly endless kiss under the moonlight, just like she’d always dreamed of. 

“You seem to be in a very good mood today, Miss Grell.” Ronald said as he spotted his friend smiling from ear to ear and almost prancing towards his direction. Lately he had made it a habit to arrive at work early and wait for her at the entrance doors.

“I am, Ronnie!” She cackled, pulling him into a warm but tight hug. The blonde laughed. 

“I’m gonna go with the assumption that the date went well?” 

“It did! Oh, Ron, it did! It was magical!” The redhead sighed in content, running her fingers through her friend’s locks and petting his head with tenderness.

“I'm very happy for you, Miss Grell! So you’ve forgiven him already?”

“No. But because he still has a lot to make up for, he promised that dates like these would be a regular thing! Or well, at least that’s what he said this morning, I’m gonna make sure he lives up to his promise, because I’m over the clouds right now!” She bit her lip, but Ronald was staring at her, a tad confused.

“This morning? but I have been waiting here all morning and i haven’t seen superior spears check in yet… I was pretty sure that he was coming in late.”

“Oh, well, at first he said he would use his only sick day because he felt like he he’d had an emotional overload and he wouldn’t be able to work today. You should’ve seen him, he looked like such an angel, half asleep and slurring his words... but the moment he saw me rush out the bedroom I think he regretted it because two minutes later he was awake and forcing himself to swallow his breakfast. That man can’t get his head out of work even if it killed him.” She sighed in dismay.

Ronald was still looking at her rather startled, but this time he had a slight blush across his cheeks.

Grell noticed, hitting him in the arm, playfully.

“Told you that date was magical, Ronnie~” She exclaimed in a sing-song voice, only to walk right past him and into the building.

Ronald came out of his daze and turned his head at the sudden sounds of shoes clicking against the pavement, only to see a desperate looking William in the distance, running towards them.

He was running late.

Ronald bit his lip to hold back another chuckle, shaking his head and turning to follow his friend.

“You better tell me all about it, Miss Grell!”


End file.
